best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Two words: nipple clamps
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