Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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