What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
