I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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