Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize