Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
