things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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