anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
