im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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