Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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