garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
