I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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