worst night to have a conscience
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
