Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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