dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
