I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
