he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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