How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
