I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
