Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm like, not good at living.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize