new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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