i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize