Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
