i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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