Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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