doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
