We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
