i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
