Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Bring me that man meat
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