Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize