I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
