I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
