Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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