??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
