I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
