my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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