Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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