Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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