So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
