he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
