so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
