i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
