I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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