Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize