They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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