Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
