Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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