Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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