How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
