I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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