2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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