I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
