she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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