Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We are all done wearing pants today
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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