new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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