Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
