You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
