That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
