I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Your cock deserves a montage
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
